Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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