I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
