My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
