And the cops told us we were all naked.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
