Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's blow job season.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize