party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize