Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
