I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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