proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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