Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
