Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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