At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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