do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My liver just broke up with me...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
