I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
