but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
