I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
