Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
