Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
