Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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