So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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