I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
