Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
