I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
