how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
