You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
