you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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