I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She's the barista slut.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
