her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
