do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Houston, we have a squirter
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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