So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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