He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
