Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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