i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
