Are we in a gay sports bar?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
