This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize