I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
