Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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