I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
