god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
