I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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