I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
