Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
