I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize