He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
