I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's blow job season.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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