So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well I just put wine in my tea
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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