in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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