If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
