two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
