I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
