the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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