and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
