Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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