He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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