What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
