My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
