Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize