my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
