And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
