I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
