The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
