The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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