he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
