can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
