when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
