Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
