we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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