we need to drink 2009 down the drain
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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